About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him -- which I assumed was wildly out of his control -- that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he has kissed me. The Harvard Lampoon
About This Quote

I was sure that I was totally in love with Edwart. Sure, he was a vampire, but he was also gorgeous and kind. He was the man of my dreams, the one who made me groan because I wanted him so badly. I had never felt this way about anyone before.

Sure, I knew that I could never have him, but I couldn’t help myself. He made me want to be a better person.

Source: Nightlight: A Parody

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